What’s at the core of your Heroine-Self?
Is it false bravado, like all the posturing and gaming that we’ve seen lately across our TV screens?
Or, is it cowering and victimization, the way we see those weakened by the power games resort to?
A Heroine isn’t a combat queen, nor is she overwhelmed and resigned.
The difference is Self-Worth. She’s honed her Self-Worth. And, truth be told: this is a part of a woman’s maturity that will haunt you until you get it. It’s your Journey.
Self-Worth is the game changer.
When I first started to work on this within me, I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what it felt like to be lit up from my core — to know that there is a ‘me’ there — to feel the ok-ed-ness of living fully being me.
Oh…I knew there was a ‘me’ there when I was young, and jumping off high diving boards and determined to make my mark in the world. But that’s different. That was more of the false bravado.
Then I got hit by life and what came up. Things I didn’t account for. Circumstances that devastated me, money that I needed, people that disappointed me, struggles that weakened me, and conundrums that baffled me.
My Father used to say to me in my youth, ‘save for a rainy day’. And I would think, ‘but I’m not going to have any rainy days’. But I did.
And, I got warn down and discouraged.
Right now life appears chaotic out there. There is so much that seems out of control with the swift changes that COVID brought to our lives, the wildness of the political scene, the unrest and more. This can be the reason to feel bereft with discontent, anxiety, fear and worry. That’s the surface of what we know.
I remember my parents at my age getting disenchanted with life and the state of the world. They thought it wasn’t the way they wanted it to be. I watched as for each of them their inside joys got squashed — and they lashed out between themselves. It made me sad. It became the state of family life. It wasn’t the world as I wanted to know it.
What we each can do is truly inside of us. That’s the start.
I love to meditate. Do you?
I sat quietly cross legged and resumed a practice that I’d let slip away.
I went back to that part inside me, and checked in to see how it was going. Was what I got that all is ok as it is? Because it is?
There is a bright ball that burns inside of me. As I center myself, I get this vision of a core brightness, of essential flame, of self-sufficient generation, of on-going life. I sit quietly, calmly, and drop into this part of me that is bigger than all mysteries, and connects to big energy. This is awesome.
When I come back to myself — taking my focus off what I was desperately needing from the outside world to be ok — and starting from the inside with my own ‘ok-ed-ness’ — my world shifts.
I don’t need to take on the control of other’s behaviors, the world is chaotic and messy right now, and it’s as it is. I have needed to let go of some things that I have thought are not ‘right’ — things I have wanted to direct, and things that I lament over.
I feel myself take a deep breath of sigh of relief.
As I give this up — I come back to me and the direction that I take. I feel it as a simplicity — as bringing my centipede legs in from all directions and coordination forward.
In this quiet of me — there is a knowing — that I am more than others know of me, and I am more than who I know myself to be. I am not how others treat me.
…If I thought I was how others treat me, I would think that I am a ‘lost cause’ — I am not. Simply not. Beware: this is a hole that you don’t want to fall into.
I am more than my circumstances presently, or what others show me about myself. There is a journey forward.
My focus is looking within at what burns bright. Here I am happy, worthy, mindful and hopeful. I practice this. This is where I want to live.
When I look to the outside world I think that there are things that I can’t do — when I look to the core vitality of me, I know that there is more of me and I can do what I falsely believed I could not do. It’s because I am less afraid, fearful and anxious. I’m more resourced.
Generously, this calm in me leads me to the next steps. I can feel that in this better place, the false beliefs of ‘broken’, ’too old’, ‘not good enough’…or ‘I’m not whatever’ fall away. Truth is told here within. In the core that rages in me, I am divine, and connected to all knowing. When I center myself here, I can make my way gracefully.
Everything is in front of me. My vision may not yet be a reality in my outside world — but it is clearly present in my inside world. And that’s where it all starts. We have to envision our reality before it can be expressed.
It starts with me and how I craft myself on the inside. Honestly, I’ve been through really really really tough circumstances and gotten through. I’m here to tell you. It was knowing from the inside that I am more than others, or even me, know — and having belief.
My belief of being here in this world to contribute my gifts.
I am not a ‘lost cause’. There is no stamp when you come roaring down the birth canal and pop out into the world — that says ‘defective’ on some babies’ foreheads, and ‘approved’ on others. That would be ridiculous.
And, when I take my focus off of the outside world, it’s chaos, let go of trying to control, and see inside — when I see that bright ball of spirit inside of me, that divinely mysterious energy that emits from within — I approve of me.
Wow!…will you do this too?
That’s where it starts. That’s where it gets good.
And, hey, that’s where it can get lost too. I approve of me not just conditionally, or sometimes, or if someone likes me or whatever — I approve of me as a core fundamental belief. Always.
From the grace of God, from the energy and spirit that runs inside of me, from the unknown — from your source as it is. I have to calm this for myself. It’s an inside out thing. Sometimes I don’t fit the norms, the rules, the stereotypes, the expectations of others — but always I approve of me.
When I flub up — I pick it up — and go on with new experiences to guide me.
I have falls, lessons learned, experiences and even difficulties — and through it all — I approve of me. That’s the only way forward.
My Self-Worth stays intact. From the place of ‘I approve of me’ — I’ll make better decisions, have more feelings of love and craft my life well. No matter from where we each come — this is the Heroine’s task to take.
The Heroine task is that your Self-Worth is not a rollercoaster. You, me: Self-Worth is what to acknowledge, nourish, protect and cherish.
Above all, I protect my own sense of acceptance of myself. And, I promise — Heroines — this, each in our own execution, is the way to the better world of our dreams.
Garner with meditation, calm or a walk in nature your inner being…and that true spirit within you that knows you are worthy.
Hold tight to your Self-Worth. Not your Bravo — your Self-Worth!
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